Over the last month or so, upon arriving back in China, I have had the same questions going through my head.
“Ok. Your contract is over soon, what will you do next? Are we going to another place or are we going home? Are you doing the things you have wanted to do? What is even your purpose in life?”
As I reflect on my first year abroad I realize how being alone in the middle of a different country has given me plenty of time to myself to reflect. In these moments of silent reflection I have come to the conclusion that although I am traveling like I always planned to do, it isn’t HOW I planned to do it.
For someone with degrees in anthropology, interests in visual media, and years of traveling periodically, I still find something missing. A purpose. Something that drives me to get out of bed and out of the country. I have never wanted to just be a tourist. I want to travel with meaning. I want to use my God given talents and applied anthropology training to make peoples lives better and inspire and support others in their callings too.
Why is all of this coming up all of a sudden? Well firstly, it’s not. I have just never been in a place in my life where there are no distractions or more pressing things keeping me busy every day. I have always been on the go, or finishing degrees, or trying to figure out how to make money. But now with the freedom of extra time that living abroad has provided, I have become greedy. Greedy to wake up everyday in charge of my own schedule. Greedy to say no to a job that I know I’m using as a crutch to keep myself from stepping out on faith. Greedy to focus on how God can use me.
I am currently at the point in the school year where people are starting to ask, “So what are you doing next?” The answer?
I do know.
I am going to use the rest of this contract to start letting go and praying that God reveals to me a path that glorifies him. A path that allows me to do amazing work in his name.
I have said repeatedly I wanted to be open and honest in my experiences in the great wide somewhere. I know, for myself, how inspiring it has been in my life when people are open with me. And I want to do that for others.
So. I’m here to tell y’all-
I have no plans.
But, God does.
Before I made you in your mother’s womb, I knew you. Before you were born, I chose you for a special work…Jeremiah 1:5 ERV